Dear Mini Me

by Karen Rose

Dear Mini Me,

“If I only knew then what I know now.” How many times did we hear that from adults when we were younger? For me it was too many times to count, and I’m sure I gave my sassy, teenage eyeball roll every time I was subjected such verbal torture. I’ll start with saying that I’m not a very nostalgic person. I find dwelling on the past to be unproductive and futile. However, if I had the ability to travel through time, and was able to deliver a letter to my less worldly 18 year old self, here are a few bits of advice I would give to her…

1. When you start college, major in whatever you like. If you are passionate about what

you’re doing, you’ll make a living with it. You don’t need something to “fall back on”.

2. Worry more about the size of your sense of humor than the size of your ass. It will

seriously come in handy.

3. Heartbreak is temporary. You WILL get over it. Love is like any other emotion, it

comes around multiple times. Oh, and that one guy you’ll meet your senior year – run

the other way.

4. Don’t lay out with baby oil and tin foil. You’re freckles will not blend into a nice even

5. Learn and use proper grammar. It will add 50 points to your perceived IQ score.

6. You are the only one who can fix your problems. There’s no prince charming on a white

horse to rescue you – it’s a sham. Be your own hero.

7. Never take sexual advice from Cosmo, or make-up advice from men – unless they’re gay.

8. It’s better to be sorry than safe (unless we’re referring to condoms, in which case you

certainly don’t want to be sorry).

9. Girls with freckles and red hair are hot. Work it.

10. When life gives you curves, flaunt them – unless you’re in a job interview.

11. Your girlfriends are your lifeline. Choose them well, and treat them well.

12. Guilt, shame, and trying to get rid of cellulite are all a waste of time. Find something

better to spend your energy on.

13. Materialism is obnoxious and so are the people who flaunt it. Being classy isn’t about

what you own, it’s about how you carry yourself.

14. Embrace your experiences, even the bad ones. People with perfect lives are incredibly

boring. I promise you the band geeks and stoners will be much more interesting at your

high school reunion than the cheerleaders and football players.

15. When you’re faced with the choice of getting your PhD or getting married – do I really

need to tell you this?

18. The sooner you get over your fear of speaking in public, the better.

19. Expect the unexpected. Always have a plan B. Always.

20. When opportunity knocks, answer.

21. Learn to surf, hula, and hang loose while you’re young because you’ll be moving to


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